I need a new word for ‘oops’ because that word? It’s not cutting it, but here we are at the end of another week, and as the self-appointed person doing these posts, I am back on schedule. On the other hand, one of my mad compatriots here has lost her mind – but, y’know what? I’ll let her tell y’all about it, below in the lists!
TUNE IN
Marathon of The Walking Dead: Due to me being susceptible to ships, I fell down the rabbit hole this past week with Daryl Dixon and Beth Greene, and I am now obsessed with this show. It is great to marathon, especially since the finale of season four is upon us. The character development is amazing. – Becca
Psych: The series finale was perfect. Everything was perfect. I’m only sad that it’s over, but I’m definitely not sad about how it ended. –Kerry
Brooklyn 99: I’m sad this show has wrapped its first season so early, but I’m curious now the next season will open now that Jake’s been fired from the NYPD. His confession to Amy was glorious. –Kerry
NCIS: I don’t know whether it was the addition of Scott Bakula or that the production trucked out to Nawlins for the actual filming, but I was actually really into this episode as a back-door pilot for a spin-off of this long-running crime procedural. – Moff
TUNE OUT
Arrow: It pains me to do this, and I hope this show never lands on the “Tune Out” list again, but this week’s episode had odd beats, an odd placement, and inconsistent characterization. Hopefully they recover next week. –Kerry
The bitch is back, and unsurprisingly, she’s back with a vengeance.
With everything that’s happening lately — Oliver and Sara dating, Laurel in recovery, Slade showing up in Starling, Roy joining the team — it really seemed like a good time for the show to take a break and sort of bask in the world they’ve successfully created since Christmas. It’s a superhero show, and it’s been on full-throttle since Oliver returned to the city at the beginning of the season, but that could’ve easily translated into an episode that was essentially “A Day at the Office.”
Picture this: Sara and Diggle train in the background as Felicity does her tech stuff on the computers. Oliver continues to work with Roy on controlling his emotions. Everyone’s on edge about Slade, and the episode could’ve centered around running down the Deathstroke lead from Waller (as we just saw Oliver approach her in the last episode). Moira continues her campaign for mayor, maybe even with a brief glimpse of Kevin Alejandro (who we haven’t seen in a while). The flashbacks stay the same, with Slade demanding a trade from Sara as Oliver is tortured with electricity and a tattoo to match Shado’s. The episode could’ve been just as compelling, action-wise, but we would’ve gotten to see the day-to-day stuff, the new normal, and really begin to understand how the cogs of Team Arrow really fit together now that they’ve grown to a team of five.
Think about it: We don’t really know how they work as a group of five. The show is asking a lot of us to just accept the status quo without really showing us the fundamentals. Do Roy and Sara interact, ever? Does Felicity get along with Roy? Does Sara help train Felicity in self-defense? Does Diggle treat Roy like a little brother, or like a ticking timebomb? In fact, what does Roy do all day when he sits in the foundry? A year ago, we knew how Team Arrow worked, because it was just the three of them and we saw it all the time. Now, we have no idea. We have to assume that everything’s fine, and worse, we have to assume that they all truly trust each other even in these dire situations.
We haven’t seen Oliver at home except for the time Slade crashed his house (he apparently sleeps at the foundry with Sara). We don’t see him at work anymore (remember Isabel Rochev? Wasn’t she supposed to be a big deal?) and he hasn’t been doing any political campaigns thanks to his complicated family situation. So everything has been focused on Team Arrow work, and yet, we’ve seen very little of Team Arrow in action. Instead, it’s mostly been about Sara and Oliver as a dynamic duo, and that would be fine… if this show had established a baseline for the new Team Arrow by now.
As it is, Oliver asks Roy to do a huge thing in this episode and dump Thea, ostensibly to protect her. Instead, it causes her great pain and distrust, and we see Roy crush a piece of jewelry he’d recently given her in a spark of pure rage. Won’t that just build up Roy’s resentment toward Oliver? Wouldn’t it be nice to have had at least one solid episode of teamwork and trust before we went down this path?
So with all of that waiting in the wings, waiting to be explored and played for nuance, laughs, and new complications, the writers decided instead to bring back a so-called “fan favorite”: Helena Bertinelli, aka The Huntress.
While the rest of the season has been on a marked trajectory of leading up to an epic Arrow/Deathstroke showdown, Helena’s return is a bit of a head-scratcher. Her father, Frank, returns to Starling to collect some debts (genius!) but manages to get caught by Oliver himself, who was assisting Sara on watching over Beat Cop Lance. The police department brilliantly decides to dangle Frank out as bait in order to trap Helena. The worst part is, Assistant District Attorney Adam Donner, aka He Who Fired Laurel For Drugs and Stuff, specifically asked Laurel to come back and work the prosecution for this case because she was, in his mind… expendable. Real standup guy.
The trap goes about as badly as one would expect: Helena has a team undercover in the courthouse, and they take hostages as Oliver leads Frank outside to safety, leaving Laurel stranded inside the courthouse. That’s okay, though! Sara, as Black Canary, is there to protect her! And luckily, the inability to recognize masked loved ones even in close proximity is a Lance family trait.
Oliver spends his time angsting outside and getting a phone call to the Arrow line from right next to Beat Cop Lance, who just got done knocking Adam Donner’s block off for setting up his daughter. Oliver covers it smoothly, though — he has Lance in his phone as “Mom” and shows him the screen when Lance looks at him askance. Cute, I guess, but I’m not loving the idea that Lance still doesn’t know who the man under the hood is.
Laurel refuses to be rescued alone while there are other hostages inside, which sounds a lot more like Season 1 Laurel than the one we’ve been dealing with lately. She insists on helping the other hostages, and Sara goes with her. Of course, because this is a Huntress episode and somehow her brand of crazy makes her stronger than anyone else on the planet, Sara ends up on the losing end of what should’ve been a one-sided fight, and Laurel is trapped with the rest of the hostages.
Helena demands Frank for Laurel, and Oliver devises a plan with Beat Cop Lance to get Frank in the same place as Helena. Laurel tries to appeal to Helena’s human side, finally admitting the ways she’s messed up since Tommy died.
It’s a really great scene for her, up until Helena warns her, “Once you let the darkness inside, it never comes out.” It looks like this phrase will propel us through the rest of the season.
The rest of the hostages are rescued safely once Helena whisks Laurel to the swap site. Frank apologizes to Helena, but she’s having none of it. Just as she’s getting ready to kill her father, she’s interrupted by the special ops guy that seems to hate vigilantes, and she gets into a one-on-one fight with Sara, who isn’t holding back this time. Sara easily gets Helena into a choke hold, but that’s when Laurel intervenes and asks the Canary to show restraint.
Helena realizes her father is dead, but not by her hand, and that’s when Lance places her in cuffs. Later, in the interrogation room, Oliver goes to visit her, and she confesses that she doesn’t feel any better knowing her father is dead. She just feels lonely. It’s the only good scene Helena’s ever had, in my opinion, and I think now I won’t dread her return so much. I just think this appearance, in this episode, was incredibly ill-timed and unrelated to the larger arc.
Laurel ends the episode on a bit of an ambiguous note: She blackmails the District Attorney into giving her job back, and the DA remarks that she didn’t expect that darkness in Laurel. “Someone recently told me, ‘Once you let the darkness inside, it never comes out.’” So she’s back to being on a villain arc? Or are we embracing the dark sides of superheroes?
Thea, out walking on her own in the dangerous, Slade-filled city, is approached by a car. In a shocking twist, it’s Slade in the car, and Thea gets in willingly. Oh Thea.
Next week, Slade has a new hostage, and the promo department actually used the word “slayed” which makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.
Psych is probably the only show I found completely on accident. Almost everything I watch is either a result of my friends pressuring me or displaying so much excitement about a show that I have to see what it’s all about (like Parks and Recreation), or it’s a case of me following an actor to a new project (following Joel McHale from The Soup to Community, or following Katie Cassidy from Gossip Girl to Arrow).
But I had only basic cable for the longest time, and no inkling of the offerings on cable networks. This was also back in the dark ages, before I had a cable box, much less a DVR, so anytime I was stuck at home trying to fill my time, I had to manually flip through the channels to find something to watch. One day, I was sick with one of the worst flus I’ve ever endured, and I was too tired to keep checking for a mindless romcom or a Friends marathon. I landed on USA Network, and it happened to be during an all-day Psych marathon. I was hooked after the first episode.
That was 2008. I’ve watched the show hungrily ever since that marathon, because no other show on TV can quite match the irreverent-yet-enthusiastic writing style, the campy-but-loveable characters, and the ridiculous plots and meta references that each episode provides. After eight seasons of ups and downs (yes, there were downs, even on one of my all-time favorite TV shows) it’s time to say goodbye. Here are my Top Ten Psych Episodes, plus honorable mentions, and here’s hoping that tonight’s series finale gives us all of the closure and a minimal amount of tears. {Tears for Fears plays softly in the background.}
Honorable Mentions
Ghosts {Season 3, Episode 1}
I loved seeing Gus in his day job, and I loved seeing how much Shawn could screw it up for him. The stuff with his mother was just added bonus.
Gus’ Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy {Season 2, Episode 10}
Shawn managing to get both of Gus’ parents accused of murder would’ve been enough to land this episode on my Top 15, but adding in Lassiter’s storyline, this really is a stellar episode. Plus I’m a sucker for Christmas specials.
The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable {Season 3, Episode 4}
A treasure hunt, complete with a double-agent, a lost Puma, and Shawn’s seldom-mentioned Uncle Jack. This episode is always a lot of fun to rewatch.
Tuesday the 17th {Season 3, Episode 12}
This is always on my list of Halloween episodes, and for good reason. It’s the perfect amount of creepy and funny, and it ends on a serious note. It’s clear James Roday had a lot of fun directing this one.
Heeeeere’s Lassie {Season 6, Episode 12}
If you’re a fan of Tim Omundson, this is the episode for you. If you’re not a fan of Tim Omundson, you will be after you watch this episode.
For me, these Honorable Mentions are more like “alternates” depending on my mood — and sometimes others that didn’t quite make the cut (like the Yin/Yang trilogy, or “Feet Don’t Kill Me Now”) end up on the alternates list, too. But for the most part, my Top Ten is pretty consistent, so without further ado…
My Top Ten Psych Episodes
10. “Deez Nups” {Season 7, Episode 7}
“This whole thing started because my ass was on the line. Self-preservation, Jules, you gotta understand that. I didn’t have a choice. And then we sorta found a groove. And by the time you showed up, it was so much fun. We put away like a hundred criminals. Most of them were murderers. I’m good at what I do. And what I do… it’s good, isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about? Are you telling me this is all a lie?”
“Please don’t make me answer that.”
There’s so much to love about this episode. Lassiter finally gets to marry the woman of his dreams, Henry gets back in the game after suffering a bullet to the chest in the previous season, Vick delivers my favorite line of hers {“Well what IS good enough, said the Chief of Police?”} and Juliet finally discovers Shawn’s big secret. The entire thing is so well done, I still get a little weepy about it.
09. “Lock, Stock, Some Smoking Barrels, and Burton Guster’s Goblet of Fire” {Season 8, Episode 1}
Shawn:“I’m no criminal. Matter of fact, I’m not even crazy! At best, I am pleasingly eccentric. At worst, I’m incorrigible and sophomoric.”
I’m a big fan of “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels,” so I was delighted by the references and by the presence of Vinnie Jones. I was also excited to see the return of Cary Elwes! If that wasn’t enough, Gus running around in a Gryffindor uniform in search of Rupert Grint is pretty much how I’d spend my time in England, too.
08. “Indiana Shawn and the Temple of the Kinda Crappy, Rusty Old Dagger” {Season 6, Episode 10}
Gus:“Don’t you think your take on this is a little easy?”
Shawn:“Easy? Yes. But life is easy, Gus. If you really want it to be.”
This is my favorite of the Despereaux appearances, with the nice addition of John Rhys-Davies. It also contains my all-time favorite Shawn quote, the one above, which sums him up perfectly.
07. “Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion” {Season 2, Episode 15}
Shawn:“They’re only going to talk to their own kind, okay? Shallow, judgmental, cruel, and gorgeous. We’re already embedded.”
At the time, I don’t think this show had ever been so ridiculous and funny. The model characters were perfect, Gus completely lost himself in the modeling world, and anytime Shawn has to be the sane one, the shenanigans are extra crazy. (The music in this episode is iconic as well.)
06. “Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing” {Season 3, Episode 11}
Shawn:“My process? Usually starts with a ‘Holla’ and ends with a creamsicle.”
Gus: “And if there’s time in between, Thundercats. Hooooo!”
Lassie-centric episodes tend to be my favorites, and this was the first time we saw him on the other side of the law and in need of Shawn and Gus’ help. Plus, Jackal Mode.
“Dame Judi Dench called. She wants her breakfast back.”
Remember in the opening of this post, how I said I stumbled across a Psych marathon while I was sick, and that’s how I got hooked? This was the episode that was on. More importantly, that line I just quoted was what made me start paying attention. The longer I watched, the more I laughed, and when it was over, I was glad the next episode was starting. I’ll always have this episode in my top ten, because if it weren’t for this one, I might never have discovered Psych at all.
04. “This Episode Sucks” {Season 6, Episode 3}
Shawn: “Are you sure this water is holy?”
Gus: “Yes! I had Father Wesley bless it over the phone.”
Shawn: “Over the phone?”
Gus: “Yes.”
Shawn: “I don’t think it works like that.”
Gus: “You don’t know how anything works, Shawn.”
Vampires are so lame, and yet this episode made them hilarious and even a little intriguing again. Bonus: Gus doing “Sookie is miiine!”
03. “Gus Walks Into a Bank” {Season 3, Episode 8}
Gus:“I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I care about you and I appreciate you. And, well, I love you Shawn.”
Shawn:“Okay, buddy. I hear ya. But you know I’m gonna be back in like half an hour, right?”
The friendship between Shawn and Gus is raw and wonderful in this episode. The case itself is also one of my favorites, but really, I could watch Shawn freaking out about saving Gus any day.
02. “American Duos” {Season 2, Episode 1}
Shawn:“I’m Shawn Spenstar, and this is my partner, Gus ‘TT’ Showbiz.”
Gus:“The extra T is for extra talent.”
This is probably the most iconic Psych episode of all time. An American Idol spoof, a guest role by Tim Curry, a rigorous dance lesson from Juliet, and a stunning performance of “Shout.” What more could anyone ask for?
01. “Last Night Gus” {Season 6, Episode 2}
Lassiter:“I cannot believe I am saying this, but men, we are in this together. Obviously, we all knew the victim.”
Gus:“Well, we all knew the victim, but you were the one who shot him.”
Lassiter:“You had the dead guy’s phone!”
Gus:“Shawn was wearing the man’s sandals!”
Shawn:“Huh. I was hoping you guys didn’t notice that.”
Woody:“Look, I don’t care if we did kill this guy! I’m just happy to be part of it.”
This is a no-brainer for me. There’s not a dull moment in this episode, and seemingly everyone got involved. It was also fun to watch this particular foursome work together to solve their own Hangover-style mystery.
From time to time, reality intrudes on our valuable TV watching time, and we realize we can’t cover everything we love. So, we’ve asked some of our friends to step in and help us out when Real Life gets in the way. And today is one of those days. Please enjoy this Trophy Wife post from Mary.
First, my apologies for this recap being pretty brisk; technological issues are keeping me from using my DVR and Hulu is VERY particular about pausing repeatedly so I wasn’t able to be quite as thorough with the quotes as usual. Also this episode was pretty focused, with all the characters in basically the same places at the same times, so in general there’s less set up to get through. But! Let’s get to it!
It’s part two of the Trophy Wife wedding spectacular!
We pick up right where we left off in the airport with Kate and Pete apologizing on Cricket’s behalf for her one-sided game of grabass with a flight attendant. Megan Mullally’s Cricket (last name Walrus, we can only hope, though there’s no mention of Kate’s dad through out the episode) is unrepentant, still rolling through an inappropriate stream of conscious monologue at a mile a minute. One exampe starts with her calling Pete a ginger (? don’t see that at all. His hair is clearly brown. I actually dated a guy in high school whose hair was pretty much the same color as Bradley Whitford’s, just a nice normal brown, and my friend’s mom insisted that he was a redhead. Everyone was so confused about that.) and culminates in Pete’s line: “I love jokes about my crotch!”
Then up roll Pete’s “conservative asexual parents,” both named Francis/es. This is a bit of a running gag which doesn’t translate in writing but it is kind of cute? There have to be couples out there with the same name. Patrick/Patricia. Victor/Victoria. Alexander/Alexandra. I mean. It’s a horrifying thought, but the heart wants what the heart wants I guess.
Pete’s parents pretty much immiately announce that Great Aunt Margaret, who is 108, decided not to fly down for the wedding. This is a total non-sequitur now but it will be important later.
Anyway, more mouth kisses from Cricket (“It is so great to meet the people who pooped out this guy. Been here 20 minutes and he already bailed me outta jail!”) for Mr. and Mrs. F. Harrison, and a bit where each parent has Pete ask the other a question because apparently they don’t speak to each other. This should be fuuuuuun. Now, off to Chez Harrison!
Kate, in some almost-adorable product placement, is still committed to a Muppets Take Manhattan wedding vibe, and wants to show Cricket the video on her laptop before giving her a tour of the house but Cricket is super distracted by the panini press and a tray of what look like cooking oils and condiments on the counter (“What is this like 20 bottles?!”). Also Cricket is excited about the presents she brought for the kids.
Cricket: “I got a butterfly knife for Bert, some Canadian Playboys for the gentle one, and for Hillary-“
She holds up a red thong which Pete, horrified, snatches out of her hand so he won’t have to look at it anymore.
Kate very tactfully refuses the gifts but Cricket’s offended: “Next time I’ll just bring a loaf of wheat bread. Where’s the bidet?”
Pete and his dad will be sharing a room and while he’s unpacking he tells Pete about his new job. Trouble is, he’s supposed to be retired and hasn’t told his wife. The best thing about this scene is that Pete calls his dad “Pop.” We already taught our toddler “Papa” instead of Daddy but I hope someday he graduates to Pop. I don’t know why I just love it.
Meg arrives just in time to tell Hillary, clipboard checklist in hand, to “settle down Barfa Stewart” and it’s a pretty close second to Dorkatron, I have to say, though obviously not as universal. Hillary needs help fulfilling her list since she can’t drive yet, but Meg deuces out so Hillary texts Diane for help.
Diane is of course unsurprised and recruits Jackie to help her, and yes they’re hanging out together at Jackie’s because Bert and Warren are trying on their kilts for the wedding. They look PRECIOUS, and Diane and Jackie BOTH coo and fawn over them but Warren and Bert are having none of it.
Warren: “We’ve discussed this and we’ve decided we no longer want to be called adorable.” Bert: “We are best men, not best boys and men are not adorable.”
I beg to differ Bert, and so do a lot of Tumblr users judging by the number of posts with pictures of grown ass men that get tagged with things like “BAAAAAAAAABYYYYYYYY” but I digress. Jackie and Diane valiantly try to stop wibbling but they’re not super successful. It’s just about the most animated and warm we’ve seen Diane for a while and it’s delightful especially since she’s teamed up with Jackie for this episode.
Back at Chez Harrison, it’s rehersal dinner time, where there are actual hired waiters. It’s so fancy! Frances tells Pete in passing that she sold their house (her’s and Francis’s, not Chez Harrison. Perish the thought, that house is gorgeous) 2 months ago, bought a condo in Floridia, and hasn’t told his father. She thinks Pete should be the one. As far as humour goes the stuff with Pete’s parents fell reeeeeeally flat for me, but luckily Diane and Jackie arrive with armloads of shopping bags and Hillary promptly hands them another list. Diane’s miffed:
Diane: “The irony is palpable!” Jackie: “I know right, let’s palp it down. What are we talking about?”
Diane’s mad they’re going all this work and thinks they only got invited to the wedding out of politeness, Jackie says “you loco”, and then Frances approaches all smiles and asks them to stay for dinner.
Pete and Kate overhear and have a little manic stress moment together before Kate pumps them back up and they “bring it in” for a high five which is great. Cricket comes over to greet Jackie and Diane (Jackie of course reciprocates the mouth kiss with one of her own because Jackie) and then Bert and Warren enter in coodinating seersucker suits (Bert’s is a 3 piece with a straw fedora and he looks like a little GQ child it’s amazing) and EVERYONE stops to ooh and aw at them. They’re mad, Bert throws his hat down, and we transition to the dining table!
Diane: “So, how does one get a name like ‘Cricket’?” Cricket: “Oh, I used to hide behind the refrigerator and chirp.”
Actual best answer to a dumb question like that, good job Cricket. I still can’t believe everybody freaked out when Busy Phillips named her second daughter that by the way. Her first daughter’s name is Birdie as I recall, so they go together nicely (except for one namesake would probably eat the other, but it’s a theme I get it) and also it’s just a great unusual name.
One of the waiters comes out with a silver tray with a cloche on top and delivers it to Kate, but when he takes the cloche off it’s a mini boombox and oops there goes his uniform.
And we have a stripper.
Once the pants come off to reveal electric blue panties, Jackie and Diane herd the kids off to bed (Bert: “But there’s a dance party!”). Meg was immediately into the whole thing, so much that one might think she orchestrated it, but nope, it was Cricket. She at first denies hiring a stripper but then reveals, when the second waiter comes out with dessert…yeah she hired two strippers.
Aaaaaand commercial!
We return to Kate apologizing to everyone and Cricket talking over it to explain how funny it all was, and when it gets tense, Francis excuses himself to bed, Frances excuses herself to write a grocery list for when she gets home, and Diane does the same.
Jackie: “Why are you going home to write a grocery list?! I wanna see what happens!”
Cricket and Kate really clash now, and it ends with Cricket calling Kate a bridezilla and excusing herself to her air mattress with this line:
“Hope I don’t embarrass anyone while I’m farting and breathing like a person.”
as she pulls the tray holding the cake along with her.
We get some cute scrolling shots of Hillary and Frances both asleep in similar positions, Hillary looking like she’s saying the pledge of allegiance, Warren and Bert all snuggly and ador-ahem, I meant ruthlessly masculine, Francis with his sleep apnea machine whirring away and Pete next to him, miserably wide awake staring at the ceiling, Cricket passed out on her air mattress and Kate hiding in the garage sitting on an overturned bucket with a cup of coffee.
Pete comes out too and they commiserate about their parent woes. It’s nice that this episode has put them on equal footing here; so often I feel like the sitcom set up is that one spouse has the crazy family and the other is longsuffering, but Kate and Pete both have leigitmate issues with their parents and are both supportive of each other about it. Kate suggests locking Francis and Frances in a room together so they’re forced to air their dirty laundry, and Pete agrees to try to get Cricket to “stop acting like Gary Busey in a tube top.” (Pete: “That’s who she reminds me of, thank you.”)
Later that morning Kate interrupts Frances cleaning her dishwasher to get her to the master bedroom where she locks them in apparently, but forgets the patio door. She heads them off outside though and informs them that:
“MAN-Francis got a secret job, and LADY Frances sold the house and got a condo in Florida. BOOYAH!”
They’re both unimpressed, they just look at each other and shrug which leaves Kate still crazyfacing about it.
Warren and Bert try to become more manly by shaving in spirals (Warren) and bathing in cologne (Bert). but they do manage do direct Pete outside to find Cricket sitting on top of the poolhouse roof. As you do.
Cricket, with apparently a joint: “I’m relaxing, I have a prescription for it.” Pete: “Yeah, what’s your condition, terminal immaturity?”
He tries to scoot her off the roof with an extendable pool cleaning net like she’s some kind of feral cat but she just makes fun of him for it (“Guess you’re too short, Dad,” and it’s such a great weird dynamic that he’s trying to parent his mother in law but it works so very very well) until Kate comes out and shoos him inside. We get a really funny shot of Whitford’s legs walking inside like pulling his jeans up as we watch Kate confront Cricket from a perspective shot from up on the roof.
Kate bluntly asks Cricket what the deal is and Cricket answers honestly:
“I see your life! The white picket fence, the lawyer husband, all that shrimp. It’s just so nice! And, like, normal. You must have really hated growing up with me.”
Kate sets her straight about that whole “normal” thing:
“One night I got up to pee and I found Jackie in our bathtub.”
Kate assures Cricket that wasn’t running from her unique childhood to some haven of magazine-ready normality and they make up with a promise of no strippers at the wedding.
Cricket: “Of course not. Just toss me your phone and I’ll cancel them.”
Warren’s showing off his horrifying razor burn to Pete in the kitchen when Kate comes in as well as Jackie and Diane with more wedding supplies. Kate asks what everything in the bags is and Diane kind of snaps: “Your wedding.”
Kate, obviously unaware they had been helping out at all up to now, fawns over them with thanks and praise, saying that them helping means they really want to be there, and how it means so much to her. They both visibly melt as she hugs them, it is SO sweet.
Francis enters then, with the news that Great Aunt Margaret is dead and the funeral is on Saturday, the day of the wedding. Frances enters a moment later with the same exact news, so no catharsis for Pete, sorry.
Back at the airport again, Kate battles tears as she and Pete sit at the gate waiting for their plane. As passengers begin to board Kate notices “A lotta personality going to Portland” as two passengers dressed in what appear to be, like, burkas with throw pillow turbans board the plane. “Weird town,” Pete agrees.
On the plane, Bert insists on playing a game with about 100 tiny pieces instead of using a phone, and Kate offers to set up the board while he holds their orange juices. Pete comes back to say hi and Bert, in his excitement to tell Pete something, spills the drinks all over Kate. Kate excuses herself to the bathroom to clean up when Hillary appears with a dufflebag of extra clothes she happened to bring along. Kate emerges from the rear lavatory in an ivory strapless number, muttering to herself how Bert will have a field day with it, and when she looks up, wouldn’t you know it:
A WEDDING.
Pete, Bert and Warren are in their full kilt outfits, joined by Hillary and the three “lotta personalities” who are actually Meg, Diane, and Jackie.
Cricket sneaks up beside Kate with a gentle “hey girl.”
Cricket: “Oh, you look good. Are you ready? Cause there’s a guy up there who really wants to marry you.”
Kate looks up at Pete and dreamily sighs, “wow . . . yeah” and then we all repeat the same when he motions to her and mouths “come ‘ere.”
For her walk down the aisle, Warren produces a mini boombox speaker thing that plays the song from Kermit and Miss Piggy’s wedding in Muppets Take Manhattan:
The kids each spontaneously produce Muppets of themselves from nowhere and Meg smiles sweetly as she films with her iPhone. Yay Products!
Oh, it is all very sweet though when Kate and Pete hold hands and she tells him how amazing it all is.
Pete: “A guy can do a lot with some frequent flier miles.”
He quickly apologizes for what happens next as Jackie takes her place as officiant, but she does a fine job, ending on:
“As long as Pete shall live?”
Pete does, Kate does, they kiss, and and the whole plane cheers!
Kate is glowing: “This is the perfect day, I just wish I could get a picture of all of us.” Pete: “We’ll get a picture at the funeral.” Kate: “Perfect!”
Diane snarks a bit about how Pete should have sprung for first class, but let’s be real, this was insanely sweet. The tag reveals that Meg’s wedding video consists entirely of her filming her own chin, upside down.
Pete: “I’ll call the airline. Maybe the black box picked up something.”
Mary is a military wife, mother, and certifiably pathological fangirl. Though she’s written before, this is her first foray into blogging. Her interests include livetweeting, cooking, baking, buying, and – most importantly – eating food, puns, and deciphering her toddler’s attempts to speak English. Follow her #mamatweets, #wifepeopleproblems, and #islandproblems (it’s not all complaining, honest) on Twitter at @maryarrr.
Warning: this post contains spoilers from episode 2.16 of CW’s Arrow, “Suicide Squad”
Last week’s episode didn’t necessarily have symmetry with all the storylines, but it was very Digglicious. It was interesting to see Diggle having a separate story away from Oliver, and that he indeed does have a part of his life not revolving around Oliver Queen.
One of the things I loved about Diggle’s story line is it being a call back to The Odyssey when he tells Felicity about having to protect a local war lord. Diggle is sent on a mission by A.R.G.U.S. to reconnect with and stop the war lord. During this episode, Diggle has to face the fact of everything not being black or white or even part of the gray area Team Arrow works in when he has to work with the Suicide Squad.
The most interesting part of the story is he has to work with the man who killed his brother, Deadshot, once again. Diggle gets to see a glimpse of another part of Deadshot when he finds out about Deadshot’s daughter. Diggle gets to see that different side of Deadshot. Sure he’s still a killer, but he lives by a code and clearly loves his daughter. There was great character development with Deadshot, and while Diggle and Deadshot won’t be wearing “BFF’s” necklaces anytime soon the relationship did become better. I will always welcome more Diggle and Deadshot scenes.
However, my favorite part of the show was the Felicity and Diggle scene. At the beginning of the episode, Diggle is personally watching over Felicity to make sure she is safe from Slade Wilson. Felicity brings him hot coco and tells him she is ok, and if Slade wanted to get to her, he would find a way. Felicity is right. It seems appropriate there was a callback to “The Odyssey” because that was the episode Diggle’s and Felicity’s friendship started. They care deeply for each other, and their friendship is my favorite one on the show.
Warning: this post contains spoilers from episode 5.10 of NBC’s Community, “Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons”
No two father/son relationships are alike, and Community showed two very different relationships tonight. One is not a real father and son relationship, and only originated because our fellow Dungeons and Dragons players switched characters. This led to Jeff becoming Dean Pelton’s father.
The only word I have for that relationship is creeptastic. Pelton took the opportunity to be as close to Jeff as he could be. Sometimes I think Pelton needs a help group.
Then there was Buzz Hickey and his son for the real father/son relationship. Previous episodes have shown Hickey’s past was not full of sunshine and rainbows. Like the rest of the group he has a jaded past, and it is probably one of the reasons why he ended up at Greendale. It was already established during Troy’s last episode that Hickey had a gay son who was getting married. However, this episode revealed he had another son, and that he did not have the best relationship with this son.
The game was created because the group wanted Hickey to bond with his son, but the strained relationship starts to show even before the game begins. Hickey’s son knows what the group is trying to do, especially after the game characters are revealed. He quickly separates himself from his father, and they begin to try to get to the necromancer first in order to beat the other.
When the two are reunited in the game an all-out war begins to happen, but somehow after everyone else has died they slowly start to compromise while playing the game. Hickey still tries to remain in charge, but he is slowly allowing his son to have more say. They are finally starting to work together. Yes, they are working together over the game, but they are finally coming to terms with each other. Hickey may have been emotionally stinted in the past, but I think he is trying to be a better father now.
The mention of Jeff’s and his father’s relationship is mentioned, and Jeff said the best way to make it better is to spend time with each other. I believe Jeff is right about Hickey and his son needing to spend time with each other. I also believe Hickey and his son have a better relationship than Jeff and his father because Hickey was willing to put in an effort, and in the end was starting to work with his son. Both people need to be willing for a relationship to work.
It kind of reminds me of Abed and his father. Abed’s father was not willing to let Abed try film studies until he saw Abed’s film. They were able to connect over the film. Sometimes it is hard for emotionally stinted people to connect with each other, but this is why we have films and Dungeons and Dragons. They get to see someone’s perspective more clearly.
Side note: It was interesting to see how Abed divided up the groups. He put the known manipulators in one, while the other group held the more off-putting characters. I’m not saying I find any of the characters off-putting. Instead they have been generally characterized this way on the show.
Look! It’s another meeting of the Save Greendale Committee, which is coming to a conclusion. They’re all in agreement that the urinals in the women’s rooms will be converted to planters (rude, what if women wanted to use those urinals?) and then Annie moves on to chores.
Annie: “We need some able bodies to clear out a space in the East Hall storage room.” Jeff: “I’ll do it!”
(He must’ve thought she said “hot bodies.”) Britta’s surprised he’s volunteering, and Jeff says that Annie usually lists chores from easiest to hardest. Shirley realizes he’s right and volunteers as well, and Hickey follows suit. Jeff, Shirley, and Hickey all working together in a storage space: this had the makings of an epic episode. Oh well.
Annie concludes the meeting, causing Jeff to groan. “No one picks up on my patterns! What am I gonna say next? Graham cracker! You didn’t know!” That was freaking adorable.
From time to time, reality intrudes on our valuable TV watching time, and we realize we can’t cover everything we love. So, we’ve asked some of our friends to step in and help us out when Real Life gets in the way. And today is one of those days. Please enjoy this Trophy Wife post from Mary.
**This post contains spoilers for the Trophy Wife episode “The Wedding: Part 1″**
Pete’s worst nightmare is coming true, y’all: Kate’s leaving him! Or at least that’s his first assumption when he comes home to find Kate flinging all his stuff out of the garage.
Never fear though, she’s just doing some cleaning! Pete’s Turkey Trot shirt has got to go, even though Kate is currently wearing a “Kiss me, I’m Canadian” shirt.
“This shirt makes sense: I’m Canadian, you had your intern run the Turkey Trot and then you took the t-shirt.”
Diane shows up in a surgical mask to remind Kate that cleaning a garage is basically non-stop inhalation of particulated rodent poop so have fun ever cleaning your garages ever you guys! She brought enough masks for the kids though. But only the kids.
Jackie pops up too to let Pete know that Sad Steve (played by Nat Faxon) and she are still a thing and will also be having a little grown up sleepover so if he’s late to work the next day, please Pete, be sure to think about your ex wife having sex with him. Because that’s been happening. Bert doesn’t know, though, which Pete objects to.
“If you really like Steve you should tell Bert. If he’s mature enough to day trade he’s mature enough to know you’re dating.”
Diane objects with an over-share about her own relationship stress, but that’s yet to come.
Post credits, Kate has found Pete’s old wedding videos (and a copy of Uncle Buck, which she tossed somewhere off screen saying only “yes please” so we’re not sure entirely if that was a keep or not. Come on Kate. Do the right thing, I believe in you) and is popping one in the VCR at Meg and Tevin’s place.
Kate: “Why do you still have a VCR?” Tevin: “Because technology is cyclical. Think about fire. People are using it again.”
Diane and Pete’s wedding took place out doors, Diane had an AMAZING headpiece thing with her veil, Pete’s hair was INSANE (think early seasons Uncle Jesse from Full House, except fluffier and more womanly), and the tuxedos all had Nehru collars.
Diane finishes off her vows by calling Pete “my perfect imperfection,” (yikes), Kate jumps to fast-forward their kiss, and so we skip ahead to their first dance, during which the DJ has to ask people to stop watching the OJ Simpson car chase coverage on a TV in the corner.
Kate: “Oh. I always thought Pete married Diane because he was too afraid to break up with her. They kinda look . . . happy.”
Meg’s unimpressed but Tevin tears up like the weirdo he is.
We cut to Diane and Russ Bradley Morrison watching some hot hot classic paliamentary debate on BBC on demand, on the phone with each other, each snuggled up in their near-identical giant beds (with amazing upholstered headboards).
Russ: “It’s 10 quid a month but it’s worth every shilling.”
Diane brings up out of nowhere that maybe they should stop sneaking around and be open about their relationship which I thought already happened at the end of the last episode they were in but I guess that was only with whoever was on that field trip? Apparently they’ve been dating for 2 years, according to Russ, because he’s been waiting that long for her to say something to this effect.
Back to Kate, Meg, and Tevin watching Jackie and Pete’s wedding tape. Also outside, but this one looks like it’s on a beach, and Jackie’s vows include the line: “our spirits align as perfectly as our genitals.”
Natalie Morales is making the most AMAZING faces throughout all these scenes, it’s delightful. Pete’s goatee, longish hair, (Tevin: “The guy canNOT make a bad hair decision!”) and white embroidered shirt make him look like a Shakespeare impersonator on location in Baja, and he serenades Jackie with The Bangles’ Eternal Flame while accompanying himself on a bongo drum.
Tevin, obviously developing a mancrush, asks Kate what her wedding to Pete was like, at which point we find out that Kate and Pete had a courthouse wedding. Meg helpfully shows a cell phone picture of the window in the hallway of the courthouse where the ceremony took place.
Meg: “We had huge sandwiches afterwards and I successfully contested a speeding ticket.”
I mean, I’m all about huge sandwiches, let’s be real. Tevin’s not impressed though.
Tevin: “Where’s the romance?!” Kate: “We made out in the parking lot after! I mean we were gonna go all the way but we were just so full from the sandwiches so…we didn’t.”
Poor Kate gets mocked by Pete’s horrible falsetto on the video for another second before she shuts it off.
Jackie is rushing Sad Steve out of her house after their “FULL VOLUME SEXTACULAR” and shoves a bagel in his hand so he can carbo-load to recover. Bert walks in just then, home from Hebrew school, and wondering who this man in his house is. Jackie feeds him a lie about Steve being a bagel delivery guy, so the poor guy has to give the bagel back!
Steve: “Here you go… madam. One single bagel. No bag, no napkin, PER your request-“
But Bert’s onto him and when Steve can’t answer what’s in an everything bagel Jackie puts the kibosh on it but it’s too late. Bert has smelled weakness.
Now time for the best scene of the episode!
It’s evening now and Kate is working on the garage again when Pete comes out to find her. After a bit of small talk about a truly disturbing stool with boots for feet, Kate asks Pete if he liked their wedding.
“Yeah of course. Remember I got that great parking space, and we had those big sandwiches at that place that burned down?”
Oh this is just more depressing by the minute.
Kate: “I just watched your old wedding videos and they were terrible and beautiful and…you waltzed, you played the bongos, and OJ!”
This could have easily gone to a pretty shrieky place, with Kate stomping her foot, or getting really complainy, but Malin Akerman’s delivery is just gorgeous. She’s on the verge of tears, genuinely awed at having seen a side of her husband she’s never known before, and full of sadness at an opportunity that feels like it’s been lost. Bradley Whitford’s FACE thoughout this scene too, you guys. It deserves the capslocks. It’s obvious that he immediately picks up on where she’s going, even as he jokes that he’s sorry she had to see him singing, and in a goatee. He affirms how happy he is with her, and Kate agrees and starts to leave with a dismissive, “ugh, I’m being such a girl.”
But just as she’s walked past him a light comes on, red light from some Christmas lights, and when Kate turns around Pete’s on one knee.
Pete: “Kate, will you marry me? … again? … in front of people?”
YOU GUYS. THEIR FACES. They might be the most shippable married couple on TV right now. They have such a lovely chemistry, and Malin is so good in being vulnerable in these scenes, and Bradley is LA WHITFORD and it all just works so well. She laughs happily and says yes (of course), they kiss, and she helps Pete up – he thinks he pulled a hammy – and we go to commercial.
It’s lovely. VHS-worthy, even.
Would you believe we’re only at the first act break? When we come back Kate and Meg have begun wedding planning, with Kate at her laptop and Meg poring over wedding magazines.
Meg: “Who would spend $200 on a dress they’re only going to wear once? … oh f— me, that’s just the shipping!”
They bleep (and pixellate even though you can barely see her mouth as she’s bent over the magazine) out the bad word and it’s like a million times funnier than if it were a cleared-for-network version.
Pete, in another really great sweater by the way, comes in and Kate pulls him over to show him a video of Miss Piggy and Kermit’s wedding as an example of the “spirit” she wants. Meg says “yeah” or maybe “yuck,” and Pete breaks into a super affectionate smile and everybody’s so happy yay! Pete’s especially happy since he’ll actually get a say in this wedding unlike his first two, which means honoring his Scottish heritage with kilts!
Diane and Jackie arrive with the kids and Diane pulls Kate aside to clarify that Kate is the only one who knows about her relationship with Russ Bradley Morrison, to announce to her that she’s one level up from complete strangers in finding out that they’re going public, and to congratulate her on her redundant wedding. Marcia Gay Harden really saves this character, you guys. I didn’t realize how horrible those lines truly were until I summarized them just now, and it’s because of her delivery.
Diane deuces out, and Pete calls a family meeting to ask Bert and Warren to be his best men, aw! They’re thrilled, and Kate immediately asks Hillary and Meg to be her co-maids of honor! They’re not thrilled. To hilarious effect.
Meg: “Since I’m your best friend, maybe it would be best if I just took the lead on this.” Hillary: “Since I have never declared bankruptcy, it might make sense for me to run point.”
Diane is practicing her archery on a compound bow because of course she is. Russ Bradley Morrison shows up with a quip:
RBM: “Looks like someone just won the Hunger Games.” Diane: “Hahaha, you and your fiction!”
It’s SO CUTE even though they are kind of insufferable. Turns out she got him there on a somewhat misleading text message, and he thought “meet me in the park for target practice” meant they were going to get “randy” (which as I’m typing it out now has WAY dirtier connotations than I realized at first). But he’s got this big classy picnic basket full of homemade cranberry scones and soft cheeses that need to be consumed within the hour and Diane’s apparently too into her practice to take a break for homemade scones (rude), so they decide to try for a real date at the opera. Too bad they can’t agree on where to sit.
At Pete’s office, Warren and Bert are modeling their kilts for the wedding (adorable), and Pete’s speaking with a Scottish accent (yes please), when Bert sees Sad Steve AKA Bagel Boy. He makes up a lie about delivering a hole puncher which Bert kind of silently snarls at. Albert Tsai’s face is just grand.
Kate’s brought her CoMoHs with her to turn in the forms to change her name
Hillary: “Meg, have you done anything for the bridal shower?” Meg: “Yes I have, Dorkatron. I see your high tea and raise you this bag of novelty penises.”
She pulls out this huge multicolor light up pixellated dildo and it is, again, hilariously awesome.
Apparently Kate’s kept her maiden name of Walrus (pronounced “Valroose”, sure) up to now because… for reasons? I prefer my maiden name to my married name, but my maiden name wasn’t one that would be so easily mispronounced. Anyway the guy at the window gets it:
“We recieved your request and we can’t can’t grant you a name change from your…zoo animal name to a normal name. According to our records you’re in the country illegally.”
Dun dun DUN!
That’s really all the explanation we get, even though Kate counters that she applied for her visa when she got married to Pete a year ago. So now we run with the “prove it’s not a green card marriage” storyline! There will be an INS agent at Chez Harrison forthwith to determine the legitimacy of Kate and Pete’s marriage.
Meanwhile Bert and Jackie are hula hooping in their living room when Bert finally pushes Jackie over the edge into admitting she and Sad Steve are dating. Sadly they don’t both keep hula hooping throughout the whole scene because that would have been even better.
Kate takes a call from Diane (there are a TON of scene changes in this episode holy cow) who is now in an anxiety spiral about her relationship, and she defensively spirals a bit with some insults while Kate tries to reassure her. It’s a short phone call because then Pete comes in dressed “like the counselor at a fat camp,” putting a bunch of framed photos of him and Kate around the living room.
Pete: “They’re gonna grill us like we’re on the Newlywed Game and the consolation prize is Canada. This is a regular guy who does not have two ex-wives and a hot young wife that he bought on the internet.” Kate, immediately on board: “Yep, right, trick the government with costumes.”
Warren, now in Braveheart-style blue face paint along with his kilt, has looked up his family tree to find out their family tartan (so I guess the current kilts are just practice kilts) but it turns out they’re Flemish!
Warren: “Where in Scotland is Flem?” Hillary: “Belgium, Braveheart!” Warren: “We’re from Belgium?!” Hillary: “How are you going to tell Dad?” Warren: “I don’t know! It’ll crush him! The men get married in PANTS there!”
Pete comes in to instruct the kids that if the INS agent asks them questions they should just repeat “can’t recall” which seems super unsuspicious, and when Warren quotes Braveheart to him he tells Warren to wash off the facepaint and go sit quietly in the garage. Also totally normal. But it’s what they’re going with because the INS agent is here! Kate appears in overalls and a shlubby hoodie toting laundry, twanging “How do!” and blathering a bunch of nonsense about Pete going to his mancave to watch football and how they’ve been married forever.
Pete, under his breath and possibly actually serious: “Bigger, Kate. She’s not buyin’ it.”
I just really love these two.
The INS agent asks them things like how long they’ve been living together, which side of the bed they sleep on (Both: “Left.” Kate: “We spoon…” Pete: “LOVE that.” Good lord you two.), how much Pete’s weekly paycheck is, and whether the microwave is stationary or has a revolving plate. Their nervousness has them tied for one “I don’t know” each when we zip over to Jackie’s.
Sad Steve has arrived and Bert answers the door, suspicious as hell. He even refuses to give Steve one of the butterscotches they keep in the bowl by the door for guests and now I want a butterscotch so bad. Like Sad Steve, I’m also out of luck because Bert is not amused.
Sad Steve: “You know for a long time people called me Sad Steve. But ever since I met your mom I’ve been so happy now people call me Steve. Just Steve.” Bert, proffering a handfdul of butterscotches: “I’m sorry you life has been so sad. Maybe you should get a fish! Goodbye!”
Mic drop, door slam, and Steve has been re-Sad-ed. He sits in his car in the driveway and explains to Jackie how it all went down. Her advice is pretty stellar:
Jackie: “Know what might help you feel better? Complimenting my braid.”
It’s a pretty sweet braid though, let’s be real. It looks like a chocolate cinnamon role all nestled on the side of her head. Bert comes out of the house, immediately taken with Sad Steve’s awesome little red convertible. Steve lets him push the button to put the top up (Bert: “Awesome!” Jackie: “Like my braid!” IT’S SO FUNNY YOU GUYS) and it seems a friendship is underway.
Predictably, things are beginning to fall apart at Chez Harrison. Diane shows up still in a funk over her RBM relationship issues, wanting to divide her Nova DVDs with Pete since they never did during the divorce. Jackie bursts in with Bert and bagels to celebrate her new official relationship status with Steve (ostensibly no longer Sad…for now) and Bert announces:
“We’re officially a threesome!”
Warren (face still painted, practice kilt still on) comes in with Hillary to announce that “our whole lives have been a lie.” Meg shows up to let Hillary know the chichi hotel she chose for the high tea bridal shower won’t let them play PIn The Junk On The Hunk, and the INS lady cuts in, hilariously,
“Sir, exactly how many women are living here?”
Pete answers this one right as the din increases and then Kate hauls off and yells for everyone to stop. She points out that Hillary loves to boss people around and Meg loves debauchery, thus delegating their respective portions of MoH responsibility. Pete assures Warren that while their blood may be Belgian, their legs belong on the Scottish highlands and no I really can’t go into describing the high leg Captain Morgan pose thing he does, I just need to go away for a minute and not think about my feelings. “We are gonna rock those kilts baby.” Warren’s overjoyed. Kate tags in again, telling Diane to not be afraid to call her “…patient” in a sweet bid to preserve Diane’s privacy as long as she’d like. Diane excuses herself to make a phone call and the INS lady has seen enough.
“This is clearly not a marriage of convenience because nothing about it is convenient.”
Kate and Pete do the DUMBEST happy dance chanting “we’re gonna have a weeeeeeedding!” Kate runs over to find out that RBM has compromised and bought tickets to the opera on the mezzanine (MEZZANINE?!) level for himself and Diane, and that Diane is now ready to announce their relationship to the family.
“You’re dating Gravy Ross’s dad? Awesome! I’ve finally got my in!”
I’m just as excited as Warren, honestly.
In the tag we meet Megan Mullally as Cricket Walrus, Kate’s mom, at the airport, escorted off the plane in handcuffs for pinching a male flight attendant’s butt. She kisses Pete on the mouth, he asks, “what just happened?” and we’re treated to a “to be continued…”
Next week: MUPPET WEDDING!
Mary is a military wife, mother, and certifiably pathological fangirl. Though she’s written before, this is her first foray into blogging. Her interests include livetweeting, cooking, baking, buying, and – most importantly – eating food, puns, and deciphering her toddler’s attempts to speak English. Follow her #mamatweets, #wifepeopleproblems, and #islandproblems (it’s not all complaining, honest) on Twitter at @maryarrr.
**This post contains spoilers for episode 2.18 of Elementary, “The Hound of the Cancer Cells.”**
After a rather mundane night of TV on Thursday night, the clouds parted and the angels sang, because Elementary opened with Joan perched on Bell’s desk as he showed off a gift from his buddies. I feel like it was written just for me, which is absurd because those writers don’t know me, but it’s also great because really good television makes you feel like they know exactly what you want.
Bell is celebrating his return to full duty — gun and all! — and his friends gave him a paint mixer because… why not? Joan’s happy for him too, and he says, “Prove it. A bunch of us are getting together after work Friday, you should come. Your partner, too.” I won’t scream “Date!” but I will point out that Marcus is one of the few people who, when he sees Holmes and Watson, often makes Holmes the afterthought. I wonder if he realizes that.
That’s not why he asked her down here, though. He’s trying to track down a girl named Nicole Watkins, who was a witness to a murder a few months back. This morning, she recanted and asked the D.A.’s office to stop calling her, so Bell wants Joan and Sherlock to track her down and try to talk to her.
Thus begins an episode where Joan and Sherlock are technically on two different cases, in an episode that ends up being more linear than circular as far as storytelling. I say they were “technically” on different cases because Joan assists Sherlock with the A-plot case, which is the titular “Hound of the Cancer Cells” case (a riff of “The Hound of the Baskervilles,” but the case itself has little to do with the one from ACD canon — that leaves me optimistic that the original story might still get interpreted!) involving a man who has appeared to commit suicide over a case of fraud. We actually saw the man, Dr. Granger, hilariously murdered via helium in an unventilated room while he was showering, and someone dragged him out and set him up to make it look like a suicide.
The Hound is a breathalyzer that can detect cancer cells in patients. Dr. Granger was conducting blind studies to prove that The Hound works, but an anonymous tipster claimed that Dr. Granger had falsified the results, so people don’t believe it works anymore. Sherlock decides to dive into uncovering the identity of the tipster, but a lead from Gregson takes them to a travel agency that turns out to be a front for Mossad agents. One of them gives Sherlock information to find Dr. Granger’s killer, because she cared for him. And that’s it. That’s the end of the Mossad thread. Hopefully that gets picked up in a later episode — Shiri Appleby and Jonny Lee Miller were compelling together, and I think it means something that Sherlock knows a Mossad agent now.
Sherlock returns to his search for the anonymous tipster, named Adam Peer (“A Peer,” get it?) and we get to see Joan put her medical experience to good use once again as she recalls a case where pain pill studies were falsified a few years ago. This leads them to Ms. Buckner, who sends them on a wild goose chase after a man who was killed in Mexico in 2012, but Sherlock suspects Ms. Buckner herself had a crisis of conscience back in 2008. She created the Adam Peer persona to be a whistleblower, but Ms. Buckner tells them that she’s only half of Adam Peer — the other half was Dr. Granger. This effectively ends the tipster lead, and Sherlock finds himself back at square one.
After Hank Prince’s estranged wife is found murdered, Sherlock believes Prince is being framed… but ultimately, it was Prince who committed both murders. Twisty! He murdered Dr. Granger to destabilize the studies surrounding The Hound, and when Sherlock floated the theory that Prince was being framed, Prince took advantage of it and murdered his soon-to-be-ex-wife. He wanted to be able to keep all of his money out of his wife’s hands, so that when the divorce was over, he’d be able to keep all of his money. When the first plan went belly-up, Prince decided to just kill his wife and bank on the idea that the police would assume he was framed for that, too.
Sherlock’s methods for waking up Joan will never get old.
If you think that case was winding and ended up in an odd place (though not as odd as the ears case from last week) then you’ll find Bell and Watson’s case even more meandering. I mean that in a good way — crime dramas often fall victim to circular storytelling. It can be elegant (“The Woman” / “Heroine” were fantastic in that regard) but in the real world, real cases don’t end with perfect bowties and touching narrative arcs that perfectly relate to the protagonist’s personal life. Castle does this a lot, often through personal drama in Castle’s home life (his daughter has problems with school friends, his mother is having a career issue) that somehow ties perfectly to the case of the week. It’s nice when Elementary episodes go gritty in the sense that sometimes these things don’t add up, that life sometimes sucks and the case they’re working on is senseless and awful, but at the end of the day, they’re still fighting the good fight.
In that same vein, Sherlock grapples with his lingering guilt over Bell’s injury throughout the episode. He’s rather jumpy and twitchy the whole time, and he continuously cuts off Joan whenever she brings up Marcus’s party, to the point that she finally stops and asks him why he keeps doing that. He uses the fact that the party is at a bar as an excuse, but Joan suspects that’s not the only reason.
Sherlock: “You know, there are certain milestones — an officer making detective, a retirement, a wake, an injured man returning to full duty — which belong to the police. It’s their night. It’s their chance to raise a glass, surrounded by their brethren. It’s a fraternity to which, my countless contributions notwithstanding, I will always remain an outsider. And given my role in starting Detective Bell down his detour, it seems inappropriate that I be part of celebrating his return.”
Joan relents at that point, effectively letting Sherlock off the hook, but he reconsiders later, after staring at Joan’s gift — she framed the silhouette that Bell shot in order to re-qualify, it’s a very lovely and thoughtful gift — almost obsessively. Almost like he found something wrong with it. Nevertheless, Bell’s injury arc is finally coming to an end, and it should be a happy occasion, but it turns bittersweet for Marcus. I started out the episode assuming Watson would be primary on the Martens case, but her role ended after she found the witness, Nicole, who is hiding because she just discovered she was pregnant. Joan tries to talk to her, but to no avail, so she defers to Bell and he takes over the case. He goes to visit the teacher that Nicole’s been staying with, a man named Manny Rose. Bell’s actually heard of Rose, he’s legendary in the neighborhood for standing up to the criminal element, so he decides to pay Rose a visit himself.
Rose assures Bell that NIcole will come around and eventually testify, but Bell is actually there to let Nicole off the hook. “The D.A.’s office has their guy, and there’s other evidence. They’ll just have to make the best case they can.” Rose is visibly irritated by this: “Martens killed a boy! A good boy. She can explain to a jury exactly what happened.” Nonetheless, Bell is determined to let Nicole off the hook, and he leaves after getting a call about another case.
The next day, Rose visits Bell at the precinct and tells him that Nicole left to stay with family upstate. Bell reiterates that he’s fine with her decision, but Rose proposes testifying in her place. Bell obviously can’t stand for that, as it’s perjury and he worked so hard to get back on the force. A frustrated Rose says, “Kwami Martens shot that boy in cold blood, right in front of Nicole. Didn’t care that he had a family that loved him. Didn’t care what that would do to Nicole. I have poured my life’s blood into this neighborhood. Never did anything but the right thing.”
Marcus tells a story about how he once stood up to bangers, back when he was twelve years old. He presents himself as an example of a man who could’ve joined a gang, but chose not to, because of men like Rose. “Let me worry about Martens. If we don’t get him this time, we will get him the next. You have my word.”
So Bell isn’t terribly surprised when he gets the call on Friday evening: Rose has been killed in a gang-related shooting. He walked up to Martens and shot him, point-blank. He was killed when Marten’s friends opened fire, and both were declared dead at the scene. Bell stands over him sadly in the morgue, telling the M.E. that he didn’t know Rose personally, “Just the legend.”
He goes to his party, but stands outside on the street, watching his friends start the celebration without him. This is where Sherlock finds him and cracks a few jokes about how he prefers parties that are solitary in nature, but Bell’s in the mood for some honesty.
Bell: “You ever have one of those nights?” Sherlock: “My fair share.” Bell: “I worked my ass off to get back. Really back. Harder than I’ve worked at anything my whole life. And everyone in there is expecting me to be happy tonight, but…” Sherlock: “With the work we do… there’s often a price.”
The look Bell gives him after that is one of the reasons I like him so much. He’s one of the few people who can recognize compassion in Sherlock, where others would see coldness or aloofness. Not Bell. He’s gratified, and what’s more, this is essentially the same speech Sherlock gave Joan last season, when she was disappointed by a date who kept lying to her. He told her that with what they do, there’s always a price, and Joan gave him the same look then that Bell’s giving him now. Disappointment, sadness, and a bit of gratitude.
Bell asks if that’s an invitation, and Sherlock points out that those people will still be there when Bell’s ready. They head off to a coffee shop as the episode fades to black, and my one small complaint is that we didn’t get to see Joan give Bell his gift. I get why they did this, though, and it’s nice to see material still going to Jon Michael Hill even in the periphery of an episode — Bell’s clearly going through an emotional upheaval after the last few months.
Extra:
Sherlock said my favorite quote to date in this episode: “Misanthropy was so easy, Watson. Elegant. I miss it sometimes.”
From time to time, reality intrudes on our valuable TV watching time, and we realize we can’t cover everything we love. So, we’ve asked some of our friends to step in and help us out when Real Life gets in the way. And today is one of those days. Please enjoy this Trophy Wife post from Mary.
Welcome back! The Trophy Wife crew has been busy: star Malin Akerman did an AMA on Reddit, creator Sarah Haskins answered questions (including mine!) on Jezebel.com, and Michaela Watkins had a great interview about her career with the Daily Beast and also made an appearance on Comedy Central’s @midnight which I’m about to watch right now! Have fun with all that goodenss, but don’t forget to read the post below, and keep your fingers crossed for a second season renewal! 🙂
**This post contains spoilers for the Trophy Wife episode “Bert Day.”**
Kate and Pete, gunning hard for the top of my favorite TV couples list, are playing Scrabble over white wines. She’s rocking a Fair Isle sweater, he’s rocking his hipster glasses, it’s just all good and I want to go to there. But! Bert’s running, screaming interruption informs us that he has read 100 books and according to a signed contract by Pete, Bert can now have any kind of birthday party he wants.
“I could have been outside playing and running but instead I was inside reading and eating…AND IT WAS ALLLLLLL WORTH IT!”
GPOY, kid. Enjoy those birthday party years while you got ’em though, they don’t last forever.
Later at Bert’s soccer game (continuity! Good job, show!), while Pete divulges his game plan to avoid touching the ball in hopes that they Bumblebees will tie for zero with their opponents the Camels, Kate attempts to sit with a group of literal soccer moms. Maybe they ice her out because she’s wearing shiny blue leggings that make them feel inferior about their utilitarian soccer mom clothes? Whatever, you do you, Kate.
When she sits next to Pete, forlorn, his reaction is almost sweet but mostly incredibly misguided:
“What do you need them for, you’ve got me.”
Oh Pete. No woman has ever not needed friends just because she has a husband. We need friends more BECAUSE we have husbands. #wifepeopleproblems, amiright?
Jackie appears as Kate laments that she gets lonely with Pete and the kids gone all day, frazzled by preparations for Bert’s party. Kate offers to take the whole thing off her hands, which Jackie is thrilled about.
Spoilers: No, this does not result in Jackie/Kate tension like I was expecting, which was a pleasant surprise. I thought it was really nice that the show didn’t try to layer on a competitive conflict since they already resolved a storyline similar to that with the Halloween episode when Kate takes Bert trick or treating. It’s good to see that even though they’ve paired Jackie and Kate up a lot this season, they’re not rehashing the same conflicts over and over.
Kate sits down with Bert later to get his requests for his party, and they’re probably even more charming than you’re imagining:
– Chocolate AND vanilla ice cream
– Napkins?
Kate: “You read a hundred books, man! You deserve a party so impressive people say, ‘how did his stepmom pull it off?’ ‘I don’t know she’s just amazing!'”
Spoilers Again: the other nice thing about this episode is that Kate’s desire get in good with the other moms drives her to give Bert an awesome party that he really enjoys, but the tempting sitcom outcome of her ruining the party for Bert in her zeal is side-stepped completely. Bert gets to have his awesome Bert-Day party, and the adults still have a storyline with conflct. Bless you, Trophy Wife writers. Bless your light.
In search of a theme, Kate asks Bert what his favorite book was and it’s the actual best answer, I really can’t think of a better one:
Little Women!
His favorite movie, though, was Aladdin, and that, Kate can work with. I would have loved to see Bert’s Little Women-themed Bert-Day.
Bert’s only request for the guest list (Kate assures him he wants his soccer team and their moms there, first of all) is Chris Harrison. No, not his dad’s cousin with the little arm (?) but Chris Harrison, host of ABC’s The Bachelor, BECAUSE HE WANTS HIM TO GIVE JACKIE A ROSE.
You guys I really can’t.
The party is awesome, there’s a giant pile of pillows in the living room, and Bert’s face is on all those cute colorblock framed art pieces they have on the wall over the TV, and there’s a giant purple banner that says “Happy Bert Day.”
Kate is dressed in an AWESOME red sari (I think this is the term for her outfit? If I’m wrong please let me know) and a big blonde ponytail weave, which makes me wonder if they couldn’t clear her wearing a pink outfit like in I Dream of Jeannie. Bert is of course dressed up like a little Aladdin with a red tassled fez and they’re both greeting guests at the door with a bowl of hummus. This is my kind of party.
Pete is having a wee bit of an issue with there being young children eating everywhere in his house and keeps barking at and hustling the kids outside.
Kate: “Pete, it’s a party, we’ll clean up after!” Diane: “Or you could just not serve dip to 8 year olds. And what’s this, kabobs? Really Kate you might as well just hand them swords.”
Diane, as usual, has a point, but I appreciate a theme party too much to really agree with her. I do agree with her that the cake, which unlike the one Kate ordered, has a photo of two oiled up naked dudes wrestling with a unicorn on it. Kate, horrified, wonders who would even order a cake like that, and I’m reminded of Laurie’s stint as a dirty cake maker from a few weeks ago on Cougar Town. Let’s just headcanon that somehow Laurie made Bert’s birthday cake, shall we? Fictional geography be damned!
Diane and volunteers to take the cake back to the bakery and Kate makes Pete go with her so he’ll stop yelling at small children who are just trying to eat the hummus they’ve been graciously served, and we have a b-plot.
The soccer moms arrive, full of platitudes about about the “lovely hooooooome, lovely yaaaaaard, oooh is that a fire eater?”
Bert: “Yes! He’s eating fire for me! I feel so blessed!”
Jackie slinks up behind them as they’re heading out to the patio all “what a bunch a’ biyotches, huh?” because Kate clearly missed their snobby tones in her hunger for mom-friends. Kate thinks it went well though; they had a real conversation! They asked her questions and everything!
Jackie: “The I.R.S. asks me tons of questions, doesn’t mean we’re friends. Trust me, those girls are nasty. And not the good nasty.”
Everybody, EVERYBODY should have a Jackie in their life. Let me know if you need one, I will happily do my best to emulate her for you.
In c-plot land, Warren catches Hillary drooling over a guy in what looks vaguely like the same metallic leggings Kate was wearing earlier.
Warren: “Why don’t you go over there and talk to him? Y’know, ‘steal the deal’, whatever that means.”
But Hillary’s in the midst of a rare moment of self doubt: “He seems really cool. He’s wearing a necklace!” Warren offers to go over and talk to him for her, which she agrees to as long as he doesn’t do anything embarrassing. Warren immediately pretends to be a detective with a walkie talkie (?) and trips the fire-eater who happens to be on stilts. Ryan Lee does Warren’s relentless goofy optimism so well.
Pete and Diane, at the bakery, grouse over how much time it took to get there, and how long the line is, so Diane just wallks to the front as we get some backstory on why these two crazy kids didn’t work out:
Pete: “Um, there’s a line! You think the rules don’t apply to you.” Diane: “Yes, that’s what I told you on our first date.” Other patron: “Uh, there’s a line, lady.” Diane: “It’s. Doctor.” (How hard would you watch Marcia Gay Harden as Diane Buckley as The Doctor? Because I WOULD WATCH IT SO HARD.) Pete: “I apologize, she’s. . . normally exactly like this.”
That first bit is an incongruous turn for Pete, who a few episodes ago was talking about planting evidence being one of the first things he learned in law school. But then he’s also previously been conflicted about his career too, so I guess it could all still fit.
Back at the party, Kate wheels Bert out on what looks like a cloud-festooned rolling kitchen cart with a magic carpet on top, but his microphone has come unplugged. When she’s crouched behind some balloons plugging it in she overhears the soccer moms sniping about the party. They’re cruel about it, calling it tacky and over the top, but “what do you expect with a party thrown by a former stripper?” We go to commercial off Kate’s shock.
These bitches. They’re worse than Heleeeeeeeeeeeene’s momfia. They at least supported local small business ventures.
Back from commercial, Kate rushes inside to tell Jackie what she just heard.
“Well, y’know: legs for days . . . smell like vanilla, you always have singles for the vending machines . . . I could see it.”
Likely all true, but not helpful. Kate rightly can’t believe they’ve been shutting her out over a rumor (and further more, even if she WAS a former stripper, boo on them for judging her so harshly for it).
Kate: “What is this, high school?” Jackie: “Wouldn’t know, home-schooled.”
Yes Jackie. You are just. You are just so home-schooled it’s perfect. I believe this about you so heartily, and I embrace it with every fiber of my being.
Kate wants to set the record straight, but Jackie offers to “dispel that dirty little hooker rumor. . . I thought all strippers hooked.” As most homeschooled kids would, Jackie.
Pete and Diane are now stuck in traffic, and Diane decides that, like my Grandpa used to say before making an illegal turn in front of oncoming traffic: “I have waited LONG ENOUGH!” and scares the crap out of Pete. She immediately gets pulled over and Pete gloats about it.
Warren hilariously saunters through a fabulous purple metallic bead curtain to approach the object of Hillary’s lust, who is revealed to be one of the dancers for the party (I was certain Kate had accidentally ordered a troupe of barely legal strippers) and turns out to be named Graham Lipschitz. He likes dancing and surfing and his intimidatingly cool necklace is a locket with pictures of his parents in it. I can’t for sure say I know what they were going for there, but it seems like he’s supposed to be secretly just as big a nerd as Warren and they hit it off. Their dialogue was just so kooky that I came out of their first scene kind of unclear.
Kate wants to know how it went with Jackie and the soccer moms and Jackie lets it slip that the one named Fern was the one who started the rumour. Well of course she did, her name is FERN. How else is she going to exact revenge on the world?
Warren reports to Hillary a bunch of lies about Graham, like that his necklace is a blood diamond (“and not the good kind!”). Hillary’s suspicious.
When the cop gets up to Diane’s window she’s all prepared with her hospital ID and a lie that Pete’s having a heart attack and she’s taking him to the hospital. The cop buys it (“He does look pretty ashen” aw, poor Pete!) and offers to escort them to the nearest hospital, which seems like it defeats the purpose of getting back to the party more quickly, but I guess Diane has cut her losses on that front and just wants to save some benjamins. Understandable.
The pony rides have commenced at the party and Kate totally ignores Hillary’s venting about her Warren/Graham problem to vent about her soccer moms/stripper rumour issue.
Hillary: “What? That makes no sense. You have no rhythm.” Kate: “Yeah, exactly, even my heart rate is irregular!”
Okay I really did like this little exchange. I’d like to see Hillary and Kate teamed up instead of in conflict please!
Kate charges off and corners Fern in the bathroom to interrogate her about the stripper rumour, refusing to leave so Fern can pee first, and then turning on the sink faucet and hilariously threatening, “don’t worry, I have plastic bags so you can take your pants home.”
It’s such a good mom-threat, I love it.
Fern cops to repeating the rumour but fingers Jackie as the originator:
Fern: “It was months ago, that day that you wore those tiny little short-shorts to soccer practice!” Kate, not helping herself out: “Yeah but all shorts look like that on me!” (gpoy, sister) Jackie, awesomely popping up under the blinds over the picture window above the bathtub: “Hey Fern! Are ya sayin’ something that maybe you shouldn’t have?”
Outside, Jackie is attempting to ride Cinnamon the pony off to safety from Kate’s wrath, but Cinnamon is not amenable. (“Ooh, you’re fat and no one likes you, Cinnamon!” #USINGIT) When that doesn’t work she attempts to hypnotize Kate into not being mad at her which also doesn’t work, so she resorts to apologizing:
“Sorry! I really wanted a spot on their sweet, sweet blanket! I’m so tired of drinking wine alone at Bert’s soccer games! So I just spread this eensie weensie wittle lie about you, I don’t know, flashing your yooyoos for money. I was desperate! But adorable?”
Kate’s not having it, and it IS for good reason even though they both were motivated by a desire to get in good with the soccer moms. Jackie posits that they’re both to blame, but Kate shuts that down too, and then lashes out that Jackie is desperate, but in a sad way, and stalks off. It’s harsh 😦
Pete and Diane have returned to Chez Harrison with a beautiful castle cake, and in the midst of their bickering Diane walks into a glass door, crushing the cake against her torso and ruining it. Pete promptly loses it, laughing at her:
“God has spoken through my screen door! No one is aboveth the rules! Finally, (he pulls out his phone to snap a picture) a reason to join Instagram!”
Bert runs up, unworried, and scrapes a handful of cake off Diane’s sweater.
“It tastes like vanilla and wool!”
Children horrifyingly swarm Diane to pick cake off her like vultures cleaning flesh from a corpse. Cover your eyes, Diane! They’ll pluck those suckers out in a heartbeat!
Outside, Kate gets invited to sit at the soccer moms’ table where they fakely apologize for believing and perpetuating a rumour about her and being generally shittastic people. Kate buys it instantly 😦
Inside, Hillary calls Warren on his fake warnings about Graham after talking to Graham about his cool blood diamond locket and then this heartbreaking exchange happens:
Warren: “Graham and I were becoming such good friends, and you know I don’t meet a lot of people that I like.” Hillary: “You like EVERYONE.” Warren: “What I mean is: I don’t meet a lot of people that like me.”
Warren feels like he has a lot in common with Graham, and doesn’t want Hillary to go out with him because eventually they’d break up and he’d have to choose sides.
Hillary: “Oh, I get it, and you would choose me.” Warren, overlapping: “Graham.” Hillary, repeating: “. . . me.” Warren, overlapping: “Graham. No, not you, I’ve said ‘Graham’ twice now.”
HAHAHA!
Kate’s conversation with the soccer moms turns from sharing laundry secrets (“I use fifty dryer balls. It’s deafening, everyone has to leave the house.”) to snarking on Jackie. Kate does try to turn the conversation elsewhere, but they’re relentlessly horrible until Kate cuts in.
“You know what, she’s not desperate . . . well maybe just a little bit desperate but I’m the only one who’s allowed to say that because she’s my family. And I get why she lied about me; I wanted to get in with you guys too. Although, now I have no idea why because y’all are just BAD NASTY, so I think it’s time for you to leave.”
She waffles several times on whether they should leave, stay so their kids can have fun, or wait in their cars, or stay but NOT enjoy the party, but let’s be real: “y’all are just bad nasty” is amazing and I’m going to use it constantly.
She knocks down that poor stilt-walking fire-eater again on her exit to find Jackie and they make up on the best terms possible when Kate offers to bring wine for them to share at Bert’s next soccer game:
Jackie, thrilled: “What! Why share?! Bring two bottles!”
While this is going on, though, is the pièce de résistance of the party: Bert and The Bert-Day dancers!
You need to watch the full episode (on Hulu, or ABC!) to see the finished number, but please enjoy this BTS video of Albert Tsai and the world’s best pants rehearsing it:
The tag features Chris Harrison showing up at Chez Harrison, Pete fanboying over him, Bert being over the moon about it, and Chris hitting on Kate, who it turns out he used to date. I wish we’d gotten to see him giving Jackie the rose though.
Lastly, a special plea: gifmakers, please try this show! I found ZERO gifs for this episode and they’re usually sparse anyway. It’s so quotable! Malin Ackerman is hot! Albert Tsai is adorable! I’ll reblog all your ish on Tumblr, promise 🙂
Mary is a military wife, mother, and certifiably pathological fangirl. Though she’s written before, this is her first foray into blogging. Her interests include livetweeting, cooking, baking, buying, and – most importantly – eating food, puns, and deciphering her toddler’s attempts to speak English. Follow her #mamatweets, #wifepeopleproblems, and #islandproblems (it’s not all complaining, honest) on Twitter at @maryarrr.
We Watch for the Plot 