Picspam: Community 5.03 “Basic Intergluteal Numismatics”

“If I’m elected, the black mold will be removed from the east stairwell, the assailant known only as the Ass Crack Bandit will be brought to justice, and I will balance the school’s budget by eliminating administrative redundancies.” — Annie Edison’s Student Council Campaign Speech, February 2011

001

It’s raining at Greendale, and the whole school is covered in a green color filter that strikes fear into Tumblr graphics makers everywhere (and made my husband chuckle and tell me “Good luck picspamming this one”) as Shirley cuts the ribbon on Shirley’s Sandwiches, which I guess is reopening? Or maybe it was never there in the first place and she hallucinated it during the Gas Leak Year? Either way, it’s open now, and she tells everyone to enjoy complimentary saltines or full-priced sodas before her boys start serenading everyone on this special day.

Except they start singing “Creep” by Radiohead, which is a good song, but at a sandwich shop opening? (Take your shots at The Social Network all you want, Harmon, but at least make it make sense in the context of the scene.) Real Neil is stoked about free crackers and asks Garrett if he is coming, and Garrett maniacally overreacts to everything, as he is wont to do. He ends up on all fours, yelling “Et tu, pencil?” when it falls, and then suddenly he’s struck from behind… by the Ass Crack Bandit!

Chang is eating in the cafeteria when Garrett runs in screaming, which immediately eliminates him as a suspect, and then we get some gorgeous opening credits of Annie’s Ass Crack Bandit scrapbook.

002

This is the part where I tell you that serial-killer-thriller genre is not really my wheelhouse. I’ve heard good things about The Killing, my Tumblr dash was full of Hannibal stuff this past fall, and I’m sure David Fincher makes good movies, but it’s just not my go-to genre for entertainment. So I’m going to be presenting this to you as someone who didn’t get all of the references and still thought this episode worked as a good homage/spoof of the genre without being bogged down in it.

003

The Dean is holding a surprisingly well-attended press conference about the attacks. Gwen from the Greendale Gazette asks if it’s the work of the Ass Crack Bandit, and the Dean insists that ACB “stopped being active over a year ago.” Tim from the Greendale Mirror asks if the rumors are true that the Dean was contacted after Garrett’s encounter, and the Dean snaps that he never said that, “And when did we split the Gazette from the Mirror, and how many photographs do you people need?” Raoul from the Las Noticias Hispanicas de Greendale asks, “Will this affect soccer?”

Everyone clamors to ask more questions, and presumably, the Dean never answers the question about soccer.

And I just want to point out the trouble I had in brightening these shots:

004

For once, I wish they’d choose either color filters or dark shots and not use both. They did the same thing in “Repilot” and it makes the clips hard to color.

005

The blackboard behind Britta and Abed says “GCC 505” up in the corner, an easter egg for this episode’s production number. Yep, this was the last episode Donald Glover filmed. In a way, it’s fitting.

The Dean tells the Save Greendale Committee (he’s not supposed to be there, it was their first order of business!) that they did in fact get a note from the ACB which included details not known to the public, like Garrett’s preferred underwear brand: “Hanes his ways.”

Britta snatches the letter and reads it aloud. “I am the Ass Crack Bandit. Humans make better banks than piggies. Whenever I get more change at the store, I can’t wait to drop it down your butts. I think I will go to the bank and get so much change and take all my dollars and make them into change and drop it all down there.”

Shirley: “He should be called the run-on sentence bandit.”

The Dean tells them they are now at Defcon 4, “If that’s the highest Defcon, and if high Defcons are worse than low ones.”

And then in strolls a sight for sore eyes: Professor Ian Duncan, Britta’s former psychologist, Chang’s former nemesis, and Jeff’s former client. Jeff asks where he’s been, and Duncan says he was taking care of his sick mother. “She’s still alive, but I’ve put in my time. Britta.”

I won’t lie, the thread of Duncan/Britta through this episode brought me endless delight. But I also liked the spark between Britta and Professor Garrity last week, so maybe I just like to see Britta paired up with authority figures.

Duncan notices Hickey, who I guess he’s never met before (Criminology and Psychology don’t go hand in hand, after all… oh wait…) and says, “Oh Pierce, good for you, I always thought that hairpiece was a bit cowardly.” The Dean explains that Duncan is there as a psychology “expert” to help them “work up something called a ‘profile.’”

006

Annie points out that she tried to do something about the ACB back when Joe Biden was coming to visit campus, and the Dean snaps, “This is not about you, Annie! This is about the school! This is the biggest PR crisis to hit Greendale since we held that rally to protest the wrong Korea!” He asks Jeff how he’s going to help, and Jeff BS’s something about looking at the whole picture and extrapolating some stuff while he sits with his arms strategically crossed to show off his bulk.

He should’ve expected Annie to seek him out as he’s playing a game on his phone in his office. (I really like his shoes.) She has a theory that the ACB is a teacher, because he or she could have only attacked three people in ten minutes if they cut through the faculty lounge. Jeff scoffs at the idea, and Annie tells him that she needs his help and that this is super important, to which Jeff responds, “I can assure you, that’s not true.” Annie does that thing where her face is half-Disney and half-obstinate. It’s adorable.

007

Troy leaves Abed a voicemail, saying lab ran late and asking what Annie got them for dinner (I think that’s so cute and totally in character that they’d depend on Annie to feed them. I bet she collects money from them at the beginning of each week and grocery shops with an itemized list and allots nights for takeout.) and adds, “I hope it’s not salad again. I’d rather just stop at the meat store.”

He turns to find a cute teddy bear on the floor and bends down to touch it… and that’s when the ACB strikes again.

Why was Troy going to the study room instead of going home?

008

A Greendale security guard can’t handle the gore of this case — he gags and runs away when Hickey holds up the offending quarter. Over on the couch, Abed has a stack of blankets going, which he’s wrapping around a clearly scarred Troy. Hickey grumbles, “Will you stop with the cups and the blankets?” Abed explains that this is how they comfort victims in every crime procedural he’s ever seen. The Dean has the completely rational and logical solution to this issue: Banning all change from campus. Hickey tells him that’s exactly as stupid as it sounds, and the Dean retorts, “Your two cents is change, and it’s banned.”

Annie finds a note in the teddy bear’s butt (oh) and Hickey hilariously calls for an evidence bag before the Dean snatches the note from him.

ACB: “I hope you enjoyed my work again, you can’t stop me, because what are you going to do, not have butts?”

Annie floats her theory that the ACB is a teacher, which immediately flusters the Dean.

Annie: “I have evidence that shows –”
Dean: “And I have evidence that shows I’m not listening. Exhibit A, Exhibit B, lalalala.”

It’s a great bit as he holds up each index finger and then sticks them in his ears. That could be an enduring gif. Hickey, disgusted, turns away as Annie argues that the Dean isn’t getting anywhere by toeing the party line. He has another great comeback: “You wanna make Trouble? Go to Parker Brothers!” He kicks Annie out of the investigation. It’s all very ham-fisted and crime-procedure-y.

009

Annie’s having a similarly ham-fisted overreaction to being kicked off the case. She’s banging the vending machines in the lounge in frustration when Jeff finds her. He tells her to “Take it easy,” but she says that’s how “Troy ended up with a quarter of a buck in his crack,” hahaha. That might be my favorite line from the whole episode, because that’s so crime shows.

Jeff points out that no one’s asking Annie to take the lead on this, but she isn’t having any of that. “You know how this school works! We do it, or it doesn’t get done!” There’s too much truth to that, really; right after Jeff and the group left, the Dean let his morals slide and didn’t see an issue with shredding key evidence in a lawsuit. But then Annie posits one of those cornerstones of a crime drama: Perhaps the criminal has a heart of gold.

Annie: “Maybe the Ass Crack Bandit’s point is that we’re letting our values slide.”

By… putting coins in people’s butts? (Did anyone else think originally that the Ass Crack Bandit was a guy who ran around with a roll of tape to cover exposed buttcracks? That sounds more bandit-like than sticking coins down pants.) Jeff’s more pragmatic: “Or maybe he’s a frat boy coming from the laundromat.” At the end of the day, he asks… who cares?

Troy cares. And Annie’s disappointed in Jeff, which is always his kryptonite, so he tells her, “Look, let me know what you need from me. On the down-low.” She starts squealing, but he tells her, “And no squealing,” so she starts dancing and he says, “Okay, squeal.” He grins at her nonetheless, and come on, guys, you have to admit that either he’s totally in love with her or that Joel needs to tone it down with those expressions.

Five days later, Real Neil is playing the ACB anthem as people take the necessary precautions not to get “cracked.” Leonard is selling overalls as someone else is making or selling “Not This Crack” shirts, and Shirley’s making bank thanks to the Dean’s No Change policy. We learn that there have been three more victims since Troy was attacked.

010

This won’t be the last time we stare at an empty seat in the study room.

Duncan and Britta both give their “profiles” of the ACB (Duncan: “He’s angry, or just fell in love,” Britta: “He hates money, or loves it, or doesn’t care about money and hates butts, or loves them.”) and the Dean asks for Abed’s “special” opinion.

Abed: “I see a man using a social disorder as a procedural device. Wait wait wait, I see another man, mildly autistic, super-detectives everywhere, basic cable, broadcast networks, pain… painful writing… it hurts…”

Then he leaves.

While I get what they’re doing with Abed here — obvious shots at CBS, which really does churn out some run-of-the-mill shows that aren’t limited to the crime category — I couldn’t shake the feeling that they were taking a shot at Elementary in particular. It’s possible they were targeting other CBS shows, like Person of Interest, or The Mentalist, or any number of CBS shows that I don’t actually watch, but if they lumped Elementary into their insult, I find that incredibly short-sighted. “Painful writing” is really unfair when, just last week, I pointed out that Elementary handles a recovering narcotics addict a lot more organically than Community has ever done with Annie. And this week’s Elementary episode, which aired on the same night as this Community episode, even pointed out the fact that Sherlock’s past struggles with addiction might seem like “an abstraction” to one of the characters who only met him after he was sober. Annie is in the same boat with the study group; she mentions her addiction and talks about rehab, but it’s such an abstract idea to everyone else because everyone except Troy met her after she was sober. When Annie turns around and sips scotch with Jeff or casually takes samples from her pharmaceutical business, it blurs the line of believability that Annie ever was addicted to narcotics, or it indicates that she’s not taking her recovery very seriously. If Annie doesn’t take it seriously, then why should the other characters? Why should we?

And the thing is, with Annie, she’s the sort of driven person who would be very rigid in her recovery. She tends to see the world in black and white, with very few grey areas, and I find it hard to believe that that attitude wouldn’t transfer to her recovery. These moments are small, few people might even remember Annie sipping scotch with Jeff in “Basic Lupine Urology,” but it’s the small moments, the “details,” as Sherlock calls them, that matter. This show is so focused on long-arching conceptual continuity (“Ass Crack Bandit” was likely a throwaway line in 2.17 but they brought it back to be the focus of an entire episode) but there is still evidence that characterization is falling by the wayside. I find it rich that they’d scoff at CBS procedurals that might actually handle their characters better than Community itself, in spite of their tired formulas.

Besides, Community… don’t you use a man with a social disorder as a procedural device from time to time?

The Dean is similarly unimpressed with Abed. “Okay, ooh la la. Hickey, what have you got?” Hickey responds, “Heartburn. It doesn’t help me catch criminals.” Would that it could.

The Dean resorts to his own idea: Chang, in a ACB entrapment costume that is every bit as creepy as it looks, and it’s made 10x creepier by the fact that it’s Chang. Hickey declares that this is “spending too much money on a crime that nets you 25 cents a pop.” Fair point, I didn’t even think of that. Dean tells him it didn’t cost anything, and Hickey says that proves Dean already owned a fake butt. Lawyered. Criminologistered?

011

Jeff: “‘I am the Mad Hatter, if hats were butts. I am neither left nor right, I am the space between, to me you are all like ants, marching to class, freaks on parade’ — I mean, why mix metaphors? Ants don’t have butts! Wait a minute…”
Annie: “Ants do have butts!”

Is Annie the group airhead now? Whatever, that line is hilarious. No, Jeff realizes these are Dave lyrics — “Dave Matthews. Hardcore fans call him ‘Dave.’” Off of Annie’s judgemental look, Jeff snaps, “Oh, excuse me for being alive in the 90’s and having two ears attached to a heart!” So Jeff has a heart?! (Oh yeah, it’s full of scotch, golden retrievers, and Annie. Right.)

Annie says they just need to find the Greendale teachers who are fans of Dave and they’ll have their suspects. Jeff switches on the radio as they get to work (it’s Bach, which I suspect is a reference but it’s one I don’t get, feel free to let me know in the comments) and then Annie does a quick search and switches off the radio.

Jeff: “Oh. Thought that would take longer.”

That’s what she said?

Troy is having trouble recovering from his ordeal, and I saw some grumblings around the Tumblrsphere where some fans or viewers felt that this was making light of rape. There’s no wrong opinion on this, people have their triggers and their concerns, but I will say that this episode wouldn’t have tracked if someone in Jeff and Annie’s immediate group of friends wasn’t profoundly and irrevocably affected by the Ass Crack Bandit. Sure, the actual act of “cracking” someone is absurd and inconsequential (though it is a violation of a person’s body) compared to real assaults, but I think in this case the writers were actually respecting real assault victims by making this a ludicrous criminal act. I don’t think they purposely drew any comparisons to rape, I just think Troy was supposed to be as heavy-handed in his role as a crime victim as Annie and the Dean have been in their respective roles. If people didn’t care about being “cracked,” then the Dean wouldn’t have gone to the committee to try to catch the guy, and Annie wouldn’t be on a one-woman rampage to catch the guy herself. The whole premise falls apart if Troy isn’t deeply affected by what’s happened.

While he’s advocating for the Dean’s new security measure to put cameras in the bathrooms, the ACB is lurking under the bleachers. As the Dean tells people to “bend over with friends over, there is safety in numbers,” Vicki jumps up screaming that she’s been cracked. This causes pandemonium as Garrett screeches that the ACB is under the bleachers.

012

Annie and Jeff meet up in the hallway and Annie says she’s been questioning Guterman (GUTERMAN!), who has an alibi. “At the time of the first cracking, he was chaperoning the Greendale Science Dance. The student that attended could vouch for him.”

1. Guterman is a Dave fan. 2. There was another dance, a Science Dance, and we didn’t get to see it. 3. It was attended by one student. It’s good to have you back, Dan.

Jeff says Mrs. Plimpton has an airtight alibi: “She’s dead.” Annie says their next suspect is someone named “Bublitz.” This can only be amazing, right? Before they make it into the room, Jeff and Annie encounter Creepy Chang, who is “eating” an extra long churro and making “nom nom nom” noises that brought tears of laughter to my eyes. He walks away and Jeff and Annie choose not to comment.

They encounter the teacher (Botany? Herbology?) spraying some plants and acting shady, and when he takes off, Jeff and Annie give chase. They knock down a bunch of shelves and shatter a lot of terra cotta before they corner him. He’s clutching a plant. “If you’re going to confiscate this, know one thing: it’s a mild, kind sativa, perfect for playing guitar.”

Ben Folds, ladies and gentlemen.

013

The Dean comes in yelling that there’s been another attack (how did he know where they were?) but is stopped short by the mess they’ve created in the greenhouse. Annie has the good grace to look ashamed.

They’re given the riot act by the Dean, who can’t believe they were going behind his back to investigate the faculty. “Someone has to investigate the faculty, but you’re like a single-celled organism: no nerve.” Dean promptly suspends Annie, who objects that he can’t do that! “Don’t tell me what I can’t do! What do you think you are, Cosmo’s July Quiz?”

Jeff comes to Annie’s defense, saying she was just trying to help, and that’s when the Dean gets real. “Let me ask you two something. Let me be like the fiftieth person to ask: What is this? Huh? What is this… creepy business?”

Dean: “I think you two like to partner up on cutesy capers so you can hold hands in the dark and address your urges in semi-acceptable scenarios.”

He’s… not wrong. He’s wrong about the creepiness, but it’s the Dean, he’s King of Creepy, and he’s speaking as someone who would rather keep Jeff all to himself. But he’s not wrong about Jeff and Annie working through their urges, because he’s also speaking as someone who has been a firsthand observer of most of Jeff and Annie’s team-up adventures: the debate, the time Jeff was editor of the newspaper, the night school double-fake-out resulting in a near-mental break for the Dean, and now this. If anyone’s got a finger on the pulse of how well (or how badly) Jeff and Annie team up, it’s the Dean.

014

His observation hits too close to home, and Jeff springs into protection mode, bellowing, “Whoa, not cool!” The Dean snaps that Jeff’s way not cooler and way unprofessional and hands down a punishment: “Starting next week, you are the new captain of the water polo team!”

He’s interrupted by a phone call, and he answers it, “Craig Pelton, Dean and Assistant Water Polo Coach.”

ACB: “This is the Ass Crack Bandit. I find it funny that you ever thought you could catch me. I’ve enjoyed our game of cat-and-mouse. It’s funny how close your two little helpers came to catching me. I like watching them run in circles. Although sometimes I wonder, are they chasing me as an excuse to get near each other? I mean, get a room already.”

Jeff, annoyed, snaps that he and Annie are friends, but ACB ignores him.

ACB: “I am the bringer of change. I am the filler of cracks.”
Dean: “Oh, that’s very interesting. I myself was in 4-H.”

ACB hangs up, and the Dean, frustrated, tells Rhonda that all of his snapping (yes, he snapped at her like 70 times throughout the phone call) meant to trace the call. Rhonda, shady shady Rhonda, tells the Dean to just look at the extension. Somehow she knew the call came from inside the school.

The Dean looks it up (“Tracing… traaaaacing…”) and then finds that it was the extension to the stables. “We have stables?!” I don’t blame you for not knowing, Dean, they weren’t on the map Annie showed Jeff earlier, either.

015

The stables are creepy, predictably, and Annie says so. The Dean disagrees: “Add some doilies and a foot bath and this is my mom’s house.”

They encounter a shadowy figure, who drops his groceries and runs. They chase him and they find… Starburns, long thought to be dead, literally trying to herd cats to drag him away. Meth, not even once.

I’m in the minority of people who were just fine never seeing Starburns again.

016

He’d faked his death to escape meth charges, and he’s also confessed to being the Ass Crack Bandit. There is one person at this press conference who is not thrilled with this turn of events, and it’s Jeff Winger. Britta, meanwhile, asks Professor Duncan for a high-five. He leans in for a kiss, and when she pulls away, he says, “Oh, American high-five! Sorry.” I will never stop loving his fabricated Britishisms.

Troy is rolled in by Abed, and the room falls silent as Troy stands up and looks a bemused Starburns in the eye. When Troy slaps him, Starburns is genuinely surprised, and then Troy is dramatically wheeled away.

The Dean announces that in celebration of catching the Ass Crack Bandit, “You’re all invited to the official We Caught the Ass Crack Bandit Dance tonight in the cafeteria!” I really really REALLY hope there are t-shirts for this one.

Jeff is still not happy, and he storms out of the press conference.

017

Annie follows him into the hall, where he rants that Starburns couldn’t have done this. Annie delivers another reliable standby of the ol’ crime procedurals: “Innocent people don’t confess!” Jeff’s incredulous. “Are you kidding me?! You knew it was a teacher! You know that doesn’t add up!”

But Annie’s at the same point the audience is at: Why does Jeff suddenly care so much? It’d be fine if he was mildly bothered by it, like it’s a nagging feeling at the back of his mind, but he’s angry, and it doesn’t make sense.

Annie: “Maybe I was wrong! Or maybe the Dean was right? About us?”

Jeff drags out his disbelieving “What?” and then grabs her shoulders. Platonically. “Annie, I took this case because I wanted to help you!” She asks what “this” is, in that case, and Jeff plays dumb. “It’s… platonic shoulder holding.” She meant all of it, dude: Why are you so mad, so passionate, so shoulder-grabby?

To illustrate his point, Jeff grabs Leonard by the shoulders and greets his dear, dear friend. Leonard reads the situation 100% accurately and leans in for a kiss.

Annie: “It’s a guy who puts quarters down buttcracks, Jeff! Let’s just… let it go.”

Oh, NOW she’s seeing it for the ridiculousness that it is! Jeff’s too far into it now, and he’s disappointed in her as he storms away.

Leonard offers her some wise words of comfort: “We can do better.”

Later, Jeff chaperons the We Caught the Ass Crack Bandit Dance, where Shirley’s selling “Cracked but not Broken” shirts and Starburns is in a cage being pelted with quarters. The dance is hazy, which I suspect is another reference that goes over my head.

018

Annie walks by Duncan’s office and sees he’s in there by himself with a glass of red wine. She knocks and asks if he’s going to the dance.

Duncan: “I’ll go later. Oh, actually, would you mind coming and getting me when Britta’s drunk?”

I really think this is something the show could explore, and it’s 99% because I’d love to see it end in a trainwreck-y way where Britta’s just fine and Duncan is destroyed.

Annie: “Listen, as Britta’s friend, I should give you this advi –”

But Duncan stops her, because “Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band has just come on the radio. “Real fans call him Dave,” Duncan tells a suddenly suspicious Annie.

Meanwhile, at the dance, Starburns vaguely recognizes the song and asks Jeff what it is. Jeff figures out pretty quickly that Starburns is not the ACB, but Starburns tells him to keep it on the down-low because he struck a deal with the Dean that gets him out of all those meth charges.

Back in Duncan’s office, he’s telling Annie that he’s a huge fan of Dave, but that all of his pictures with the band are on an “older, British form of Facebook called ‘Mugscroll.’” That’s why he didn’t turn up as a Dave fan in Annie’s super intensive search… then she spots the roll of quarters, and Duncan starts to act shady.

019

Oh no! Annie drops her keys! Alison gets to do a great bit of physical comedy where she tries to pick up the keys without bending over, then she scurries out of Duncan’s office before he can… put a coin down her pants?

Jeff’s doing his own investigating, and he finds a laptop hooked up to a huge switchboard in a random closet (but gosh, that shot is beautiful) and then Annie appears and platonically grabs his shoulders. “It’s Duncan.” He looks overjoyed.

Part of me was deeply annoyed during this episode. I’m a fan of Jeff and Annie together, always have been and probably always will be. But I’m not picky. Last week, when Annie forced Jeff to teach, was perfect for me, as perfect as any kiss or flirtation they might share. I’m also not stupid: I know that there are writers on staff who like to dust off the ol’ Jeff/Annie capers just to whip up a certain faction of their viewership and get people talking. I was 100% aware that I was being manipulated, just as I was 100% sure that the episode would end with no real resolution between them. I was happy to see them in scenes together, and McHale and Brie were as brilliant as ever, but it’s getting to the point where no one believes Jeff and Annie haven’t hooked up by now. Maybe I’m just pathological.

020

They lose each other at the hazy, smoky dance, which Duncan is now attending.

Duncan: “Oh bloody hell, my shoe is untied by British standards!”

NEVER. NOT. FUNNY. He’s “cracked,” and Jeff and Annie somehow know it and chase the bandit down the hall, but when they turn the corner, the hall is empty except for Shirley.

Jeff: “Shirley, what are you doing?”
Shirley: “Looking for you.”
Annie: “Did you see someone come this way?”
Shirley: “Jeff, Annie… Pierce is dead.”

They both think about it for a second, the fact that the bandit is still within reach, but when Shirley gathers them both in a hug, they make the decision to let it go.

021

Neil: “Tonight’s celebration was cut short by some tragic news. Pierce Hawthorne, fourteen-year Greendale student, entrepreneur, and expert heart attack faker, has passed away for real this time. Pierce had been recently banned from campus, but not from our hearts. He’s survived by many ex-wives and all of us here at Greendale that called him ‘friend.’ If you’re listening, Pierce, you were a hell of a D&D player. It’s time to level up.”

If they shot the scenes of this episode in order (they probably didn’t, but I like to think his last scene wasn’t the one where he was “cracked” or slapped Starburns) then this is the last shot Donald ever did for the show.

Annie’s watching the rain outside the library, and Jeff joins her. He doesn’t ask if she’s okay, they just talk about Pierce being gone and Jeff rambles something about life and an empty container. Annie points out that hallway dead-ended, how they might’ve had him, but then she says she should go home since she hasn’t slept. They hug, and it’s really sweet and sad.

022

Annie: “The case goes cold again.”
Jeff: “Don’t worry. I’ve got a feeling he’ll be back.”
Annie: “Or her.”

She stops, realizing what she just said, and turns to Jeff. They regard each other suspiciously, but I’ll be damned if they aren’t the most beautiful shots of the whole series. Melancholy music starts to play as they stare at each other, wondering if their mutual desire to work together has resulted in one of them being the Ass Crack Bandit.

But then we pan over others, and it turns out, any of them can be the Ass Crack Bandit too.

023

Twenty-five cents at a time, he’s taking our souls
Government man can’t help, we’re all alone
Are you feeling a breeze? Did you pull your belt tight?
You know that it’s wrong, you know that it’s right
Out of the shadows, down the coin goes
Why oh why do you suppose?
Only the bandit knows…

Britta makes a critical typing error… Abed deletes his crime procedurals (including something called Johnny Spectrum, mmhmm) as he rolls a quarter over his knuckles… Shirley counts her money… Hickey looks over an old Black River Ripper article… Random Lunch Lady looks around suspiciously… Rhonda is suspiciously good at quarters…

024

A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K

A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K

There have been no more crackings since that day, but Greendale’s official position is that Starburns was the bandit. There is no investigation currently open.

025

Meth: Not Even Once

(This episode deserved a much better tag.)

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